To help out, Betting Spy has compiled this handy print-out-and-keep guide for players, managers, fans and referees to what is acceptable in the modern game:
Obviously a no-no
Not an issue with players as all professional footballers are defiantly straight.
Trickier on the terraces where all southern fans are “poofs” in the eyes of northern supporters.
Taken in good grace by Brighton fans as opposition supporters serenade them with “we can see you holding hands”
Tricky one this. Mark Clattenburg allegedly called Juan Mata a “Spanish twat”.
Only a six-month enquiry will tell which part of that Mata objected to.
Heaping scorn on someone because they are English/Irish/Scottish or Welsh is all part of the “fun” of football.
The influx of foreign players has had many benefits but it has certainly muddied the waters over how far you can go with this one.
Southerners are soft and northerners are poor. That is the unshakeable belief of the terraces and no amount of political correctness will change that.
I’m talking about giving people stick for how they look rather than actual fighting.
Another grey area this one. Players have always been baited for being fat/bald/ginger.
Better fitness levels mean “Jan Molby” size players are a rarity but any physical peculiarity is fair game to be seized upon and used as a wind-up.
It’s always heartening to see twenty stone fans bursting out of their replica kits chanting “who ate all the pies” at a player carrying a few ounces.
Players like West Ham’s James Collins can also cause confusion – being both ginger and bald.
Of course we can’t cover all the bases with new cases flaring up on an almost daily basis in the wake of “Clattenburgate”.
A simple solution to that one is staring everyone in the face.
All refs have microphones already – so why not let everyone hear them as happens in rugby.
Knowing their conversations with officials can be heard by all may make even the dumbest of footballers think twice before firing off another volley of abuse.
That’s enough solving the woes of the modern game so let’s get back to the real business of this column and come up with a decent bet for the weekend.
West Ham did our dough last weekend by reverting to “soft southerner” stereotype and totally capitulating at Wigan.
But there’s a nice chance to get our cash back by opposing Liverpool who the bookies seem to think are a much better team than they actually are.
The Reds have won only one league game at home this season and yet they are odds-on across the board for the visit of Newcastle.
The Magpies are a massive 5/1 to win this one.
That’s a price which is just too tempting so let’s lump on and hope Alan Pardew’s boys do the business.
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Running Total for all 2012 bets to a £10 stake: +£191.00